I miss New York. Miss it to the extent that it physically hurts. Sometimes it’s my own fault. When I watch ‘When Harry Met Sally’, look for New York Pictures in Instagram, or listen to Empire State of Mind. Other times it hits me out of nowhere. That’s when it hurts the most.
When I walk a street and realize how much more interesting it could be if I’d walk any street in New York. Or when the cashier at the supermarket looks at me hostile, as if I’d tried to steal her bag, and I have to think of the Persian guy from the Deli closest to my place. He would have welcomed me with ‘hello beautiful’ and a smile. And just like every other evening, I would have responded with ‘hi handsome’ and would have bought whatever I needed that day.
I miss New York when I see a place in a movie, which I know. A place that appears a second on the screen and leaves thousand memories in my head. “This is 16 and 9”, I might say, and remember the corner because of all the memories connected to it. I have been there. That’s where I used to hang out with my friends. That’s where we went for our third date. That used to be part of my way to work.
Why are we even emotionally attached to places? Why am I emotionally attached to places?
I miss places that were so normal back than. I miss to step into a subway car and be surrounded by ten different cultures. People speaking different languages. I miss being in midtown, and an hour later in Chinatown. Like traveling the whole world within half an hour.
I miss after work drinks, going to all the museums for free. I miss being stressed over my weekend plans, because there is so much to do that I can’t decide and can’t commit. I miss being so busy with work, and my social life that I can’t find the time to go to the laundry place. End up washing the clothes I want to wear to work at 1 am in the bathtub – while my roommate is cooking Japanese food, and makes fun about me.
I miss feeling like in the movies when I try to step in heels over the cobblestones in Meatpacking on a Saturday night. The city lights. How the sun goes down behind the Highline.
I’d give everything to turn back time.